Media Junky

For years I was a celebrity gossip junky.  I woke up in the morning and went through the routine of, Facebook, Perez Hilton, coffee, cigarette, shower........  If there was something going on with anyone famous at any one time, I knew about it.  I had to know about it.... I read Perez's blog like it was a newspaper with the most important information that could possibly exist.  After a while I started to notice how Perez liked to play favorites, and was especially mean and nasty to the folks he didn't like.  Miley held her head the wrong way and inspired a 100 word blog on how slutty this 16 year old is.  Or Lindsey was holding a glass of clear liquid with ice in it, it HAD to be vodka! O! M! G!  No way! Everyone stop and get your rotten veggies and throw them at these girls who have been whored out by their parents.....  I kept on reading his dribble for a whole year after discovering how awful of a person he was.... because I still wanted to know what Britney Spears was doing, who was dying, who was checking into rehab, who was checking out, blah blah blah...  I was hooked and Perez was my dealer.  Slowly I started envisioning myself starting a blog of my own that was all about gossip bloggers and columnists and the effed up shit they got themselves into.  I decided that I wanted to dig up their pasts and sit in their driveways for hours on end with a camera and 50 of my colleagues.  I wanted to stand in front of Perez's car and flash lights at him when he was trying to get his morning coffee.  I wanted to pick apart every outfit he ever wore and make him feel like he made all of those other celebrities feel.  But I had to change my mind when I realized just how much I wanted to be NOTHING like him.  I want to be a decent human being who didn't get off by getting paid to talk trash about people.
Please do not get me wrong here, because I do not "feel sorry" for celebrities.  I feel sorry for our current situation.  I went to acting school.  I wanted to be a "star".  That was my dream from when I was a little girl until I got to Hollywood.  The kind of "star" I wanted to be, no longer exists.  Celebrities are not supposed to be role models.  Whoever came up with that idea is soft in the head.  Actors are people who make a living on pretending to be other people.  One HAS to be emotionally unstable to be able to do something like that.  They are people who have to access emotions they have never had before.  Up until the late 90's only the biggest scandals in Hollywood were plastered all over the news, today its about the fact that Jessica Simpson found a wrinkle LITERALLY.   What I am trying to say is that maybe if we stop caring about Mel's latest rant and start caring about our own lives, or real issues that actually effect us, maybe, just maybe, the world can start to become a better place........